How often do you feel guilty? How often do you feel like you are not getting life right? How often does your life become what others want it to be?
Guilt is not a simple emotion to live with. You don’t want to talk about it, you don’t want to admit having it and you want to avoid dealing with it.
But holding onto guilt can be damaging to your physical, mental and emotional life. It can lead to:
Abuse and Trauma (including self-harm and substance abuse)
All can have their origins in feelings of guilt and shame, the slow drip-feed of self doubt and self accusation that makes you feel less than. The Journey Through The Guilt Trip is your way to take back control and gain the freedom to live the life you were meant to lead.
Are you ready to get your life back?
The Journey Through The Guilt Trip Program has one aim - to give you the tools you need to take control of your life, away from constant guilt trips and feeling of being 'less than' and back to feeling in control, empowered and authentically you.
When you have a decision to make, whether it is what to have for dinner this evening, or what school is best for your children, you have two choices: make your own mind up, or use the advice or opinions of others to help make your choice. Both can be incredibly useful, but if you find yourself constantly looking to others for the next best step for you, you can find yourself no longer trusting your own guidance, your gut instinct or intuition. So you end up living the life they want you to have, not the one that makes you happy.
There are outside influences on us the whole time, from partners, children, parents or friends, to the magazines and social media that loves to tell us what we should want to make us happy. It is all useful information as long as you know how to use it - think about it, decide whether or not it aligns to your OWN values and beliefs, then either act or dismiss it as necessary. When you start to doubt your own decision making ability, however, you are more likely to 'go with the flow' others give us.
This is made worse when those people (well-intentioned or not) try to influence your behaviour to what they want through the use of guilt:
"You're going to go out tonight and leave me?"
"Why do you need other friends?"
"Have you really thought about this?"
"Why can't you just be happy?"
"You're going to wear that?"
"Who are you, to want more?"
If any of these sound familiar, then you will recognise that you have been guilt tripped into acting a certain way, or living under certain rules. None of this is outright commands - no-one's telling you to take that dress off, or commending you to stay at home! Yet, each has the ability to trigger feelings of self doubt and guilt that you are putting yourself before others - and for some of us that doesn't match our core values and so we change direction.
Self care is NOT selfish.
I repeat, Self care is NOT selfish.
Looking after yourself is a essential element of being able to help others, and yet too often we put our needs behind everyone else's. But trust me, no-one truly appreciates the sacrifice - they just take advantage of the extra energy, time, effort that you will give them.
And to be clear, not everyone is doing it with negative or mean-spirited intentions (although some are, and it is important to recognise them). But in society, we have a fundamental need to be accepted into the 'group' and so we have to constantly assess whether disagreement with an opinion with set up apart from the group and therefore leave us isolated. The joke here is that, when you live in guilt, as an emotion its first impact on us is to feel disconnected and distant from others anyway. Ever been in a social situation and felt that the party is happening around you but you're not included? yeah, that.
None of us are born for the benefit of others - everyone is entitled to the life that they want - and to live with the impact of that.
Guilt is not an easy subject to talk about or deal with because it makes you feel uncomfortable and I get that. It’s the reason why many courses, coaching or workshops that you may have already tried felt like they missed the mark - they were avoiding a word that instantly makes you feel defensive or vulnerable.
My approach turns that discomfort into commitment. Instead of feeling helpless in trying to avoid the vicious cycle of guilt, I step you through the ways to identify the guilt in your life, tackle it head on and then make sure that it doesn’t come back up again. My approach helps you take back control of your life and helps you define who you are. To live guilt free is to know yourself.